Irish in Feverish Hunt for Leprechauns to Save Economy

DUBLIN, Ireland - In the wake of some of the worst economic news to hit Ireland for decades, record numbers of Irish people are laying traps hoping to catch the elusive leprechauns and make them hand over the gold in their possession. Some claim that the stores of gold held captive by the country’s leprechauns is enough to not only bring Ireland out of the financial mess but to make it the richest country in the world.

Bounties have been placed on the heads of leprechauns as countrymen keep their eyes trained on the skies for any sign of a rainbow. Weather forecasters claim the time for rainbows has pretty much gone the way of the winter weather, but that hasn’t stopped most from hoping for one or two more late fall thunderstorms.

Many wonder why the thought of putting out traps and bounties for leprechauns wasn’t a part of the country’s economic plan before things got so dire. Folklorists claim that only the most desperate man will actually try and catch a leprechaun due to the fact that the little fellas are notorious for the mean-spirited jokes they play on anyone who comes close enough to them. But these are unusually rough economic times and desperate times call for desperate measures.

In addition to placing bounties on the heads of leprechauns, many Irish farmers are planning on planting an over-abundance of clover this coming spring in hopes of upping the chances of finding enough four-leaf clovers to turn the luck of the Irish around. “It’s all we got so far, said Brian Lenihan, Irish Finance Minister. “We never thought we’d have to go to the lengths of having money thrown at us by other countries so we never really had a back-up plan. But anything’s better than being beholden to the Germans.”

He continued, “We’re pretty sure the leprechauns, when they see how desperate we are, will bring their pots of gold to us. At least, that’s what any loyal countryman would do, be he 6 ft. tall or the size of a large mushroom.”