John McCain: Don't Believe Anything I Say Anymore

In a bold move to assure his re-election as Arizona state senator in November, John McCain has adopted a new stance on everything. He’s even claiming that he never was a maverick even though there are hours of news footage of him during the 2008 election campaign totally embracing and even bragging about the title that was given him, even allowing his sidekick Sarah to call him that a few times on the campaign trail.

McCain now says he never was comfortable with the title. In fact, everything he stood for then, he probably doesn’t stand for now, but don’t press him on it. It just makes him jittery. Like Joe Lieberman, John McCain figures if he sits on the fence long enough, he pretty much can say what he wants and if one group doesn’t agree with him, he can side with the others, and if the other side doesn’t agree, well, just flip those legs over and face in the opposite direction.

Says McCain “I’m getting to the point where even I don’t know what I believe in anymore, so the bottom line is, if you want more of the same and don’t care really how I vote as long as I show up to vote on issues, then vote for me. I won’t let you down, and if I do, well, that’s the price you pay for groceries these days.”