Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper and his wife, Helen Thorpe, have decided to separate citing personal reasons.
According to sources close to the couple, the real reason the first family decided to part ways was because Thorpe refused to take Hickenlooper’s name. It was reported that not only did she have a hard time saying it without snickering, but so did her friends, creating quite a scene at social events.
“Helen tried, she really did,” claims a very close family friend, “but the latest event she attended caused her so much embarrassment that she finally told John she couldn’t take it anymore.”
Evidently, the placard at the front of the event at the local Ritz-Carlton billed the event as being hosted by Governor and Mrs. John Hooperpooper, a typographical error that some claim was intentional.
Nevertheless, the Hooperpooper name has now stuck and Mrs. Thorpe, er, Hickenlooper, er Helen Thorpe cannot go anyplace in town without people whispering behind her back.
“I’d gladly change my name if John would shorten his,” said Thorpe at a recent press conference. “I merely ask that he change his name to Hooper so we can then hyphenate it, becoming Governor and Mrs. Hooper-Thorpe.”
Mrs. Thorpe, er, Hickendorfer, er Horpenthooper, oh….nevermind.